Well, good readers, I haven’t been writing because I have been struggling with what I want to say. I’m still with Glenn and Karen’s story, but I think there will be this one and then one more. What is so hard about this story is that it was pivotal and solidified their relationship with their mother. I don’t know how this affected Karen except for what little she has told me.

Rather than try to explain, which isn’t possible, I will just tell the story. Glenn and Karen’s family moved back to the United States during WWII, living in Salt Lake City with Karen’s mother. Their dad went back to the Argentine as part of the CIA operation to keep Peron from allowing the German navy to dock ships in Argentina.

Glenn was 11, and one day while walking to school, he could no longer walk and fell down unable to get up. Somebody went and got his mother, who took him to a doctor. He had rheumatic fever, a disease that antibiotics has all but eliminated. Those days the cure was going to bed. Going to bed for Glenn meant the whole year.

Glenn had a room that was light and airy, his mother tried to make the room comfortable, and he had many things in the room that he could use, books to read, musical instruments which he taught himself to play. He had lessons brought from school which he completed so that he could finish 6th grade. He had a radio, there was no TV then, and he was allowed to have friends visit him as much as they wanted. Therefore, there was no reason for him to be bored.

But, laying in bed for long periods of time when others had things to do, did present problems for a young boy going into puberty. This is a time of discovery, and Glenn discovered masturbation relieved boredom. After all he was in bed, much of the time alone.

One day his mother caught him doing this and was so appalled that she allowed no one to visit him, and took away many of his things, leaving only the school work, promising that he would be properly punished by his Father when he came home from the Argentine.

For six weeks, no one was allowed to visit with him or talk to him. He was brought meals with no comment, his room was cleaned and his basic needs taken care of with no comment, his school work was brought and taken away with no comment.

This was a time when Glenn made decisions and developed rules for himself that he shared with me before we married that have been the basis for our lives. First rule, love unconditionally. Second rule carry no grudges, forgive unconditionally, and never, never not speak to each other. Third to treat children like they were precious souls of God and not property. Fourth to have very few rules. He considered these the only true rules needed in a family. I agreed to these before we married, and we had very few other rules even when raising our children.

This extreme rejection of him rather than his act was a common form of punishment by his parents. Rejection is the ultimate and most extreme punishment known to man. I worked with and studied people who were rejected and learned what this did to individuals first hand. Then I understood what my parents gave me that he didn’t have. It was knowing that I was a person of great worth. No matter what I did, I was never rejected by my parents.

Karen once told me of the struggle she had with not being allowed to speak to Glenn. She was required just to bring him his meals, his school work and drop them on the tray without speaking. She also experienced her mother’s rejection in other ways such as the many restrictive rules they had to follow.

I even experienced this feeling of rejection. I met Glenn’s mother three times in our marriage. Once when they were going on their mission in Southern California they stopped at our home. Glenn and his dad went to see his dad’s sister Adena, who was living in San Francisco, and left me with his mother. I had Linda and Debby at that time. She never spoke to me for the 4 hours that Glenn and his dad were gone. She never answered a question except when I offered her something to drink. She stared out the window the whole time keeping her back to me and the children.

The second time they came to our house in Newark, California. They came unannounced and unexpected . She sat on the couch never saying a word, never even said hello to me or acknowledged my presence. She let Mr Kaiser do the talking. They had toys for the children and she did play with them some, but very little. Now that I’m older also, I understand not being able to play with children as much as I’d like.

Glenn endeared himself to me forever on that summer day. Our home was ok, but there were toys, children’s clothing everywhere, and diapers to fold on the couch. Glenn, was looking out a big picture window we had. Seeing his folks drive up, he grabbed all three children, Bob was in my tummy. He ran outside saying, "Hi, glad to see you, I was just on my way to the store for groceries, why don’t you come with me. " They never came in the house. His dad took all of them to the store.

I was surprised at how fast I could pick up and clean up. I stuffed stuff under the beds, in the closet and was amazed at how good the house looked when they finally came back. We also benefitted because Glenn’s parents bought the groceries. This is a fine example of Glenn’s quick thinking and his sense of humor.

Later, since his folks had discovered how needy we were, they decided to send us a care package. We were thrilled, and Glenn was hoping for some things we could use, but they sent us a tuxedo for him and a fur coat for me. I don’t remember what else was in the package, but Glenn and I dressed up in the tuxedo and fur coat, dressed the kids up fancy, and all of use went to MacDonald’s on the money that was in the package, and even bought the family dog an ice cream cone. We had a great time, laughed about it, but I knew how hurt Glenn really was.

When I was expecting John, Aunt Helen and I took 4 kids and went to Montana. We stopped in Salt Lake City to see Glenn’s parents. We had been invited. While we were there, the children were not let into the house except to use the bathroom, and his dad sat in the garage watching the children playing in the driveway. His mother never spoke to me after the initial greeting. she finally did come out for a few minutes, and brought some treats for the children. All this without even speaking to me or Helen. She greeted us graciously when we came and when we left asked us to come again anytime, but that was the whole interaction. I never knew whether she was just shy or didn’t like me. I do know that she felt that I was beneath the wife that Glenn should have because she had made that plenty clear before we married. My father was a lowly International Harvester Dealer. Glenn’s father was a vice president of International Harvester.

Later, after she died, her spirit was so strong with me, I learned to know and love her then, losing my bitterness toward her. I really needed support, and an angel is the best you can get.